The Pleasurable Perks of Disastrous Drinks
by Speedy Speck
Summary: Reno tries one of Yuffie's experimental cocktails...RenoxYuffie...One-Shot...R&R Please!


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy does not belong to me...however much I may like it to. I own no characters, places etc. etc. so please don't sue me! I'm a nice person :)

Author's Note: This is my fifty-fifth fanfic...and it's a RenoxYuffie xD...One-Shot...Oh and I'm sorry It's been so long since I've written a Reffie!...PLEASE review as I really enjoy reading your views and they inspire me to get better! It would make me very very happy! Anyway stop reading this and get on with reading the fic! Hope you enjoy! :)

The young ninja smiled confidently as she poured a gracious amount of amber liquid into the mixer, which was already becoming quite full with a least three other types of alcohol, among other things.

She glanced over at the breakfast bar, as if to check the young man was still present there and hadn't yet managed to make his break for freedom. Much to her obvious delight he had remained seated, though the young girl couldn't help but notice the numerous glints of fear coming from the aquamarine orbs belonging to the red head.

''Don't worry Reno...it'll be fine...trust me!'' The young girl shone the young Turk, what she believed, to be a comforting and reassuring smile, but it reality it just seemed to make him even more scared, subconsciously making the red head slowly edge his chair further and further towards the window, as if secretly planning to jump out of it and although the ninja's flat presided on the fourth floor of the apartment building, thus any jumping would resolve in the breaking of many bones, in the red head's mind that would probably be a less painful fate that consuming what ever Yuffie was concocting.

A few more minutes passed, as the poor red headed test subject for Yuffie's inventions watched the young ninja dart about the kitchen, his body shaking slightly with fearful apprehension, and when he saw her adding something that look strangely like black pepper to the mixer, he decided it was time to inquire as to exactly what was going to be giving him stomach issues for the rest of the evening, and perhaps the rest of the week if it was anything like the casserole she'd baked a few months previous.

''So...what's in it?''

She spun around of the spot, latching her gaze onto the rather nervous looking Turk, ''It's a secret recipe Reno! I'm not about to tell you!''

He opened his mouth in mock outrage and stamped his foot down against a nearby stool leg rather like a sulking child, ''But I'm your boyfriend...''

''Pfft...so!'' Yuffie rolled her eyes in exasperation, continuing to add things to the strange looking mixture, though this just seemed to egg the red head on.

''So...you should tell me!''

She grunted and shook her head in disbelief, ''I'm your girlfriend and you still won't tell me where Shin-Ra hide their Materia!''

Now it was the red head's turn to grunt, though his was out of amusement, ''That's because your a Materia thief...''

She slammed the ominous looking jug, now full of the mixture, down on the kitchen surface, her body stiff with childish rage, ''MATERIA HUNTER!''

The young man could feel his girlfriend's death glare piercing through the back of her head and it managed to send the briefest of shivers up his spine, frightening him just enough to stop airing his retort, and instead he fell silent, his aquamarine gaze suddenly becoming incredibly interested in the lino flooring.

When he was sure she was to busy with her own grumblings to hear him, he mumbled softly, ''Materia Hunter...Yeah sure...and I'm a spiky haired chocobo who fancies Sephiroth...''

After a few more minutes the ninja brought the jug and a rather large glass over to the breakfast bar and laid it gently on the surface, ''So Reno my sweet, are you ready to try my ever so newly invented, but also deliciously brilliant cocktail?''

The young man's voice seemed to fail him, as if his brain was trying to warn him that the agreement to drink this concoction would only bring pain and so in defiance to all his senses he eventually nodded and took a hold of the glass as she filled it will the really quite odd smelling liquid.

As he watched the glass slowly fill to the brim, he ran his free hand nervously through his rough flame red locks, and sputtered out some words, trying desperatly to delay the inevitable, ''So...what...what do you call it?''

''Materia Martini!'' The young girl grinned proudly, lighting up her already pretty face to an extent that it washed away some of Reno's fear, replacing it with a blissful calm, even if it only lasted for a few seconds.

''Oh yeah and why is that?''

''Because it's magic!''

He chuckled, the red head enjoying the adorably cute expression playing across his girlfriend's youthful face ''I see...''

By now the drink had been poured and Yuffie stood, her feet shifting nervously around the spot, waiting patiently for the young man to try and enjoy the drink that she'd put so much work into.

Reno flashed his girlfriend a fake and rather disconcerting grin before glazing down to observe the contents of the glass, which he held firmly within his slender fingers. It was a murky brown, though it seemed to have shimmers of metallic blue and bits of black pepper he'd correctly spied her adding earlier, and as he continued to watch it, he could swear the liquid was fizzing alarmingly at him.

Without warning or even thinking about it he lifted the glass rim to meet his lips in one swift motion, and took a rather larger gulp. It would have been fine if he'd swallowed it as quickly as he'd executed the gulp action, but instead he kept it in his mouth out of fear and he could swear the unknown liquid was slowly but surely burning through his tongue.

He slapped his own leg as if willing himself to swallow, and it seemed to work as the fiery mouthful slid down his throat, causing him to wince in somesort of disgusted pain, _I think my_ _oesophagus is melting..._

The ninja had been watching in confusion, her eyes wide and hopeful, and when she spoke he could sense she was on the edge of desperate tears, ''Is...is it good?''

Seeing her pleading look, and not wanting to receive a savage beating, he shone her a toothy grin, ''Yeah babe it's...really...really something.''

The adorning smile that replaced her previously tearful expression was one so lovable, that made every drop of the burning cocktail consumption worth it, in the Turk's eyes.

After a brief silence, the red head noticed that his girlfriend was continuously shifting her gaze from him to the drink still in his hands, and it was then he realised that she was actually expecting and waiting for him to consume the rest. Thinking the quicker he drank it the quicker the ordeal would be over, the red head raised the glass once again to his lips, this time a lot slower, and began to let the liquid flow out of its container and into his tongue.

He took gulp after gulp, praying that the, really quite painful liquid, wouldn't somehow wipe out the rest of his brain cells, along with his possibily already damaged fertility.

The atmosphere was one of quiet tense, when the ninja suddenly locked eyes with the red head, who was still swallowing down the concoction, and blurted out rather quickly, ''So, you wanna move in!''

As soon as the words sounded in the red head's ears, his body gave a violent jerk as the shock hit him, and his mouth burst open, spurting the contents out and directly over the young ninja, covering her face in a mixture of alcohol, black pepper and Reno's saliva.

The young man looked at his girlfriend in fearful horror, and quickly ran past her to the sink, running the cold tap over a clean enough looking dishcloth, before returning to the young ninja, airing pleas for mercy as he went.

''I am so sorry babe!'' He began to quickly rub and pat the young ninja's face, allowing the thin material to soak up the unpleasant liquid, freeing her face from it's grasp.

She just glared at him tiredly, as if she used used to this sort of thing and let him continue in his apologetic rant.

''But you still look great...I mean you always look great...and me spitting at you...I mean...It was an accident...and...sorry babe...it's just...you...'' His voice trailed off as her invitation once again became awakened in his mind, ''...surprised me.''

The young girl swiftly tilted her face up to meet his, her eyes nervous and narrowed questioningly, ''Was it...I mean...is it a...a...good surprise?''

He paused for no more than a second before responding, his tone steady and his face straight, ''Nope.''

Yuffie's eyes flashed with disappointment and she couldn't withhold the gasp that came from her delicately feminine lips.

Reno sighed and slowly bent down, nestling his cheek upon hers, his mouth hovering by her ear, and whispered gently, ''It's a brilliant surprise...''

She let out a loud and rather more surprised gasp before hitting him playfully on his chest, as pay back from his previous deception.

After a few moments of looking into eachother's eyes the ninja jumped up from the stool and began skipping over to the kitchen cupboards, ''This is so cool! I'm gunna make some more Materia Martinis to celebrate!''

Reno's smile vanished in a flash and was replaced with a look of absolute terror, his face slowly losing all colour and his legs beginning to forget themselves.

His wide eyes wandered over the ninja's lively form, and when his gaze fell over her rather pert bottom, a devious smirk appeared and the red head glided over to the ninja.

Gentle brushing his fingers over her neck, just enough to awaken her senses, he crooned softly against her pale skin, ''I've got a better idea...''

Without warning he pulled on her hips, forcing her to turn around and meet his lustful aquamarine orbs, and before she could protest, he quickly took possession of her mouth, entwining his soft tongue with her own.

* * *

Over an hour later the pair lay on the kitchen floor, naked and out of breath, with their clothes and various foods scattered over the lino.

After a painful poking from Yuffie, the red head got up and slowly began to clear away the mess, grumbling as he went, though when he came to a particular work surface a relieved grin began to form.

Much to Reno's delight, during the pairs rather heated exploits, it just so happened that they had 'accidentally' destroyed all the remaining Materia Martini mixture.

_Now all I gotta do is repeat this if she ever tries to make it again...or any other inventions for that matter..._

A smirk appeared and he chuckled silently to himself, deciding that maybe Yuffie's experimental side was a good thing after all.


End file.
